My Time of Dying
by angstydaydreams
Summary: John and Elizabeth are trapped in a cave-in after an earthquake. Their team tries to save them before it's too late. Gratuitous Shep Whump.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: John and Elizabeth are trapped in a cave after an earthquake. The rest of the team fights to rescue them before it's too late. Gratuitous Shep Whump.

**A/N**: A huge thank you to my beta, Rink Rat for all her work to make this story better. You rock!

_Present_

Elizabeth bit her lip to keep from crying out at the soft rumble that caused the ground to shudder and more rocks to skitter down the walls of the cave. She pressed her hands against the soft dirt of the cave floor to steady herself. The light from the electric torches flickered, but remained strong, keeping the inky blackness at bay. Shadows danced across the walls of the small cavern, walls that became more oppressive with each passing hour. Elizabeth shivered and prayed that the lights didn't go out.

"The aftershocks are getting smaller," John observed softly.

Much of the chamber had disappeared under a ton of rock, but part of it remained virtually untouched, the ceiling arching high overhead. The room had been designed as a rest area for the villagers seeking shelter from wraith attacks. The cave system held many rooms such as this, all supplied with benches and tables, food, water and blankets: basic necessities to help the villagers wait out a prolonged attack. The benches and tables had been mostly overturned by the quake, but Elizabeth was profoundly grateful for the blankets, food, and water. The air had already grown quite cool.

Elizabeth turned, tears of relief springing to her eyes. "John!" she said. She reached under one of the blankets covering him and grasped his hand. "How are you feeling?"

John smiled weakly. He attempted a shrug, which caused a wave of pain to cross his hazel eyes. "Never better," he gasped. He leaned back against the blanket cushioning his head, tightly closing his eyes.

"Why do you always do that?" Elizabeth rubbed her thumb gently over the top of John's hand. She could feel his body trembling; with cold, pain, or fear, she didn't know which.

"Do what?" John breathed through the pain.

"Employ sarcasm as a means of deflection." Elizabeth crossed her legs Indian fashion and tried to catch John's eye.

"What would you rather I do?" he asked, studiously avoiding Elizabeth's gaze, instead staring at the walls of their prison.

"Tell the truth, John," Elizabeth squeezed his hand. She placed her other hand gently against his cheek. His skin was warm. Too warm. And it was hard to tell in the dim light of the cave, but she thought his skin had grown more waxen.

John turned his head into the palm of her hand, resting there a minute, before turning his eyes up to catch hers. "Okay," he nodded, "the truth. The cave-in might have been so catastrophic that even if Ronon and Teyla survived it, they won't be able to dig us out. Even if the Daedalus left Atlantis when we missed our first check-in, it's still at least twenty-four hours away. The rest of these walls could come down on us before they're able to beam us out, or we could run out of air."

"That wasn't the question I asked," Elizabeth said resolutely. "I know we're pretty much screwed. I asked how you were feeling."

John stared wordlessly at Elizabeth. He felt her grip on his hand like a vise. "I've got some pretty intense pain in my lower back, abdomen and flank. Not sure if my shoulder's broken or just bruised, but either way I can't move it. Think I busted a couple ribs; I'm kinda having a hard time catching my breath. Oh and if I didn't have a concussion before, pretty sure I do now."

"John!" A tear trickled down Elizabeth's cheek.

Carefully John extricated his hand from Elizabeth's. "There's a very good chance I'm going to die here, Elizabeth."

"No!" Elizabeth protested.

"That's the truth," John dropped his hand to his chest and coughed weakly. "You need to wrap your mind around it if you're going to survive."

Elizabeth shook her head and wished, not for the first time, that they'd never come to this planet.

_Earlier_

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard gazed across the brilliant azure water and smiled. The surfboard he straddled bucked gently beneath him, reacting to the swells from the near thirty foot wave currently racing towards shore, the wave Ronon was riding like a pro. John grinned as Ronon whooped triumphantly. He rode the giant wave as if he'd been surfing his whole life, belying the fact that John had only just taught him how to surf that morning. Once again the big man had proven there was nothing physical he couldn't do.

John glanced towards the shore where Elizabeth and Teyla were sunbathing. Elizabeth was perusing what John guessed were mission reports. He was pretty sure Teyla was reading a romance novel she'd picked up from one of the female Marines. She was laughing much harder than he was sure the writer had ever intended. As if she could feel his eyes on her, Elizabeth glanced up. She smiled warmly and waved. John didn't think he'd ever seen her so relaxed, and he was glad he'd pushed her into joining his team for a little R&R. Well, his team minus Rodney, who'd turned his nose up at a trip to the beach and headed for his lab instead. John waved back before lowering himself to his board and paddled towards the next wave.

When his team had first visited M39 315 to establish trade relations, John had immediately noticed the beaches and the most amazing waves John had seen since leaving the Milky Way. He'd been itching to get back ever since, this time with a surfboard. He'd been back several times since that first visit to supervise the fortification of the caves behind the village as a defense against wraith attacks, but he hadn't had a chance to head to the beach until Elizabeth had ordered his team to take a day off. Since Beckett was already coming to the planet to help the villagers with a vaccine for a measles-like childhood disease, they'd come along for the ride.

John squinted into the sun, gauging the speed of the wave. He smoothly paddled towards the wall of water forming ahead of him. He leapt to his feet, crouching sure-footed on the board. He rode up the swell, his body and the board moving as one. When he got to the top, he twisted, coming off the wave for half a second before dropping back to the water. He hurtled down the length of the breaking wave, white water crashing behind him. He spared one glance at the beach. Elizabeth and Teyla were both sitting up, watching him. John grinned. He aimed the board back towards the top of the wave. Kept going and did a 360 degree turn, his feet never leaving the board. He landed light as a feather back on the top of the wave. Again he shot down the side of the wave, but he'd lost momentum in the jump, and he was further back than he liked. He heard whoops and hollers from the beach. John feared he'd pushed his luck; he was getting caught in the wave's churn. If he didn't outrun it, the wave would take him out for sure. He gripped the top of the board, stabilizing it against the choppy water. He gained momentum. At his back, the curl of the wave crashed in on itself, but John gathered speed, staying just ahead of it. It felt like he was flying as he rode the base of the wave all the way in to shore, coming to a stop just a few feet from the shoreline. Elizabeth and Teyla were on their feet, cheering. Ronon grinned widely, then grabbed his board and made a running jump back into the surf.

"Well done, Colonel," Elizabeth clapped her hands, her brown eyes sparkling.

"I'm a little out of practice," John shrugged modestly.

"Well, if that's out of practice, I can't wait to see you when you're back on top of your game," Elizabeth laughed. "I had no idea surfing involved such showmanship."

"Sure you don't want me to teach you? Either of you?" John asked.

"That's all right," Elizabeth shook her head. "Sunbathing is more my speed."

"Don't worry about us John," Teyla smiled warmly, "We're fine."

"Okay," John grinned like a little boy, snagged his board and charged back into the water.

It was the last wave that did him in. It was a massive one, looming above him like a three story building. And he didn't catch it right, so instead of riding the current of the wave down, he was struggling almost vertically against it, putting him at a ninety degree angle to the ocean. If one could be said to fall off a wave, that's what John did. His feet came off his board, and he went tumbling head over heals underneath a ton of heavily churning water. He let his body go limp as it was driven further and further downward by the crush of water on top of him. He didn't panic. Panic was what drowned surfers. And he knew the water would eventually let him go, and he could rise back to the surface. Of course he didn't count on his surfboard colliding with his skull, causing his world to go spinning into black.

~_~_~_~_~_

John floated weightlessly. There was an urgent reason why he needed to wake up, but he couldn't think what it was. He drifted. His limbs grew heavy; the world was fog and haze. Sinking, he felt himself slipping further and further away.

Then large arms encircled his waist. He was dragged upwards. He felt light and warmth on his face.

"Sheppard! Sheppard, wake up."

He groaned, and began to cough, spitting up what felt like a gallon of water. His head felt like it had been split open.

"C'mon, breathe man. Just breathe."

"Ronon," John spluttered.

"Take it easy. I got you." Ronon's growl sounded soothing to John's ear, and he found himself relaxing in the larger man's sure grip.

"Ronon, over here!"

Teyla? John cracked his eyes open, wincing at the light. She had a hold of his surfboard and was motioning Ronon to set him on it.

"I'm fine you guys," John protested, unwilling to allow himself to be towed in like a child.

"Uh huh," Ronon grunted, unceremoniously dumping John flat on his back on the surfboard.

"Dr. Weir has gone to get Dr. Beckett," Teyla helped guide the surfboard towards the beach.

"Now that's totally unnecessary," John griped. "I get knocked on the head all the time. I hardly even notice anymore."

Ronon ignored his friend, continuing to swim the surfboard to shore. Despite his protests to the contrary, John knew he was better off riding rather than swimming back to the beach, but as soon as Ronon and Teyla got close enough to shore to set their feet on the sandy bottom of the ocean, John rolled off the board, slogging determinedly through the waist high surf until he reached dry land. He was sitting with his head in his hands when Elizabeth returned with Carson in tow.

"How are you doing, Colonel?" Carson asked. With a penlight he quickly checked his patient's pupil responses.

"I'm fine," John said. "Just got dunked."

Carson carefully kneaded John's head, smiling sympathetically at Sheppard's wince when his fingers found a tender bump. "Seems you got knocked on the head." After checking for spinal injuries, Carson quickly ran John through a brief neurological exam, lightly patting his shoulder when he'd finished. "Well, I think you'll be all right, son, but we should get you back to Atlantis and put you under the scanner just to be sure."

Helping his patient to his feet, Carson asked, "Are you going to be okay walking back to the village or would you like a ride?"

"A ride?" John asked indignantly, imagining himself being carted back to the village over Ronon's shoulder. He shuddered with embarrassment. "I can walk," John glared at his doctor. Carson bit back a grin as Ronon silently took position next to John. By the time they reached the village, John was leaning heavily on Ronon's arm.

The Secorans were a farming community, which was what had made them initially of interest to Atlantis. The Secorans provided many of the fresh vegetables and meat that saved the people of the Atlantis expedition from a life of MRE's. In exchange, Atlantis was helping the society to reach the technological advances years of wraith cullings had inhibited.

The main village was situated on the bluff overlooking the sea about a half mile from the Stargate. Most of the time the village only housed the old, the young and the sick. Villagers spent much of their time further inland, either in the fields tending the crops or out herding a creature that bore a striking resemblance to a bison. But they'd just had a harvest, so other than a few villagers that remained with the herd; most of the community had come together for a day of feasting and trading.

The medical building was situated at the far end of the village. It housed a lab and several exam rooms. Natal and Lansing, the village healers, were already quite proficient with the use of herbs to treat illness and injury and had proven themselves agile students in the science of medicine Carson and his team were teaching them.

"You guys can change in there," Carson pointed his team to the exam rooms. He busied himself finishing up the last of his packing. He'd check in with Natal and Lansing in several weeks and see how the vaccinations were going, but for the time being, his work here was done. He'd actually been looking forward to joining his friends on the beach when a panicked Elizabeth had burst into the medical building. Carson sighed; he didn't care much for surfing, but he'd been looking forward to ending his day with a nice swim, and not to mention the feast they'd all been invited to.

One by one his team filed out of the exam rooms, back in their normal clothing.

"You ready Carson?" Elizabeth asked.

"Aye," he nodded. "There are just a few things to take back to the jumper. I'll say my good-bye's to Natal and then we can go."

John nodded, reaching for one of the bags. "I got it."

"Not so fast there lad," Carson scolded the Colonel. "You need to take it easy."

"I got it," Ronon grinned at his friend, easily slinging the bag over his shoulder. John glared at Ronon ineffectually.

Carson slung the last bag over his shoulder and headed for the door. "I think we're ready. This is the last of it."

Then the earth started to move.

"What the hell?" Elizabeth shouted, trying to find purchase in the pitching room.

Crates and boxes lining the walls of the infirmary flew to the ground. Lab equipment toppled off the tables. Crashing sounds came from the exam rooms.

Ronon and John shoved Carson, Elizabeth and Teyla into the middle of the doorframe. After what seemed like an eternity, the shaking stopped.

"What just happened?" Carson asked, shell-shocked.

"Earthquake," Teyla said in a clipped voice. "A pretty big one, I think."

"We need to check on the village," Elizabeth said. "Our return trip is going to have to wait. We should establish contact with Atlantis—we may need their assistance with search and rescue."

His dunk in the ocean forgotten, John began issuing orders. "Everyone gear up. Teyla, dial in to Atlantis from the jumper. Carson and Elizabeth, help the villagers set up a triage area. Ronon, you're with me. And everyone please be careful. There are bound to be aftershocks."

Teyla took off at a dead run for the jumper. The rest of them went the other direction, into the village. A large quad-like area separated the medical building from the marketplace. They sprinted across the expanse. The village seemed to be in shock. Several of the buildings had completely collapsed, but most of the structures in the marketplace remained standing. Slowly, the sounds of disaster awakened: wailing babies, cries of pain, panicked screams as people realized loved ones were missing.

"Vaneer," John called, recognizing the village leader. He and several villagers were struggling to remove a heavy beam from one of the demolished buildings. Someone inside the wreckage groaned. "Let me and Ronon help with that."

"This seems as safe a place as any to set up a triage unit," Carson said, motioning for Elizabeth to help him start unpacking supplies.

"_Colonel Sheppard, come in please," _Teyla's voice sounded over the radio.

"Go ahead, Teyla," John responded.

"_I can't dial in from the jumper. I'm going directly to the gate."_

"Check in when you get there," John said. "And Teyla, be careful."

"_Understood."_

With a grunt, Ronon and another villager, Barcley, freed the beam, pulling it away. Carson slipped in and with John's help, freed the man who'd been trapped inside. Immediately, they carried him to the aid station. Ronon, Barcley and Vaneer continued to sift through the debris, but they only found one other woman alive.

"Dr. Beckett," a man dressed in a white smock rushed over.

"Natal," Carson waved the village healer over. "We're setting up for your injured here. Where's Lansing?"

"I don't know," Natal shook his head. "We separated after you finished showing us how to mix the vaccine."

John directed several villagers to another area of the quad to start a makeshift morgue. "Vaneer," he said, "we need to start an organized grid search. When my people come from Atlantis, they can help."

"Thank you," Vaneer rubbed the crown of his head, clearly overwhelmed.

Just then a child, John guessed she was about eight, came tearing down the path from the caves at the rear of the village.

"Daddy," she screamed. She threw herself into Barcley's arms. "In the caves; they're trapped." She burst into hysterical sobs.

"Who Bitty?" Barcley picked the girl up, rubbing her back soothingly. "Who was with you?"

"Zander, Risella, and Dante," she sobbed. "The entrance fell down. They can't get out."

"We need shovels, picks, anything we can use to dig through the entrance," John started grabbing up supplies. "Elizabeth, when the teams arrive from Atlantis, tell them we need help at the caves."

"No," Elizabeth objected. "I can help. I'm coming with you."

"It could be dangerous up there, Elizabeth, and I don't have time to argue."

"You need all the help you can get, Colonel. I'm coming with you."

"_Colonel Sheppard."_ Teyla's voice was breathless.

"Go ahead, Teyla."

"_It's gone."_

"What's gone?" John asked.

"_The gate, John. The gate is gone."_

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing! You can't know how much a writer appreciates the feedback!

This next chapter takes considerable leeway with John's backstory. Just sayin'...

Chapter Two

_Present_

John coughed, blinking his eyes blearily in confusion. Time was impossible to tell in the depths of the cave; his injured shoulder made it impossible to check his watch, but he was fairly sure he'd passed out for a while. Elizabeth no longer knelt by his side. Instead, she prowled the edges of their prison.

"We already tried that," he mumbled weakly. "Those rocks aren't going to budge."

"John**!**" Elizabeth turned to her military commander with a relieved smile. "You're awake."

"How long was I out?" John asked.

"A couple of hours," Elizabeth returned to his side, squeezing his hand. She curled her fingers around his wrist; his pulse fluttered weakly.

John coughed again, wincing. Elizabeth slipped her hand under the back of his head, helping him to lift it as she put the canteen of water to his lips.

"No," he protested. "You have to save that for yourself. I may not make it until the Daedalus arrives, but you will. You have to."

"Drink," she said firmly. "And we're both going to make it. You have to believe that."

"I thought you wanted the truth Elizabeth," John let her tip a small amount of water onto his parched lips. Gratefully he swallowed. After taking several more sips, he let his head fall back to the blanket.

"I asked you to tell me the truth John. I didn't ask you to give up." Elizabeth glared at him.

John caught her hand, squeezing it slightly. "I'm a soldier. I accepted a long time ago there was a pretty good chance I was going to die out here."

"I don't accept that," Elizabeth said stubbornly. "Your will to live has gotten you this far**,** don't give up. Not yet. The Daedalus is coming. And don't give up on Teyla, Ronon or Carson either, for that matter. They're alive. If there's any way for them to get through all that rubble, they'll find it. You just have to hang on."

"You are an incurable optimist," John smiled weakly.

"And when did you become such a pessimist?" Elizabeth smiled back.

"Not a pessimist," John shook his head, wincing. "A realist."

"Fine then," Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "A realist. When did you become such a realist?"

"When I was twelve," he answered quietly.

It took Elizabeth a few seconds to realize there was none of John's usual acerbic humor in his voice. It took her a few more seconds to realize he was completely serious.

Elizabeth froze, the simple question of what happened dying on her lips. Despite the deep friendships John had made on Atlantis, he kept much of himself hidden behind impenetrable walls. That he would reveal those parts of himself to her now meant only one thing: he was slipping away. To ask him to speak about his childhood would indicate acceptance of that inevitable fact.

John coughed deeply. His eyes filled with pain, and Elizabeth thought, panic. She slid her arm under his shoulders and lifted him up. She murmured soothingly until the coughing finally eased, leaving Sheppard hanging limp against her arm. Holding back tears, she wiped flecks of blood from his lips.

"Do you breathe easier when you are sitting up?" she asked, forcing her voice to remain steady.

He nodded, not yet daring to speak lest he invite another coughing fit. Elizabeth carefully maneuvered herself behind John so he could lean against her chest. She grabbed the canteen of water. This time he didn't fight her when she put it against his lips, just gratefully took several sips.

It took him longer this time to recover from the coughing. She could see his chest struggle to rise and fall. It was no longer rhythmic, but gasping. He wasn't pulling in enough air. She had an overwhelming urge to tear down the rocks and dirt of the collapsed tunnel, to punch her way through so she could get John out, to get him the help he so desperately needed. Forcibly she steadied herself, the soothing words she whispered in John's ear as much for her as for him.

John relished the feel of cool water against his throat. It felt like it was on fire**; **along with his chest, his shoulder, his back and just about every muscle in his body. He rested his head against Elizabeth's shoulder. She was soft and firm at the same time and her fingers rubbed gently at his arm in smooth circles. He relaxed against her and decided this might be one of the better ways to go. He was hot and sore and the room spun and darkness kept closing in on the edges of his vision. It would be so easy just to let himself drift away.

"Talk to me John. I don't think you should go back to sleep," Elizabeth said sharply. She pinched his arm, hard.

"Ow**!**" John moaned. "You don't…have to be…so vicious."

"You should know better than to ignore me," Elizabeth said lightly, even though her heart was hammering in her chest. "Try to check out on me again and I'll show you the meaning of pain."

John chuckled. "Ow," he said again. "Don't make me laugh…hurts."

Elizabeth carefully brushed John's hair off his sweaty brow. Now that she held him, she could feel the heat radiating from his body. Biting her lip, she knew his assessment of their situation wasn't wrong. Twenty hours for the Daedalus to arrive might as well be an eternity. He wasn't going to make it that long. But if she had to lose him, she would at least try to keep him with her for as long as possible.

"What happened when you were twelve?" she asked softly.

_Earlier_

The gate was gone. According to Teyla, a crevasse had opened up directly underneath it, pulling it down into the depths of the earth. Perhaps the gate could be saved. The Daedalus might be able to beam it back up. Rodney might be able to fix the damage to the DHD. The Secoran people relied on that gate to trade for valuable goods. But those uncertainties would need to be dealt with later. Now, John had three children to save.

John's men had nearly finished fortifying the caves, making them as safe a place as possible for the Secoran people to hide from the Wraith when they inevitably came to this planet. But nearly hadn't been good enough, and the children were now trapped in a section of the caves that hadn't been completed.

Several hundred feet inside the entrance to the cave system, steel rung on rock as John swung his pickaxe at a collapsed section of the cave wall. He glanced warily at the tunnel walls. The fortifications, steel beams and braces, might well withstand Wraith explosives, but whether they would hold against Mother Nature was not a question he wanted to explore.

"Is it going to hold?" Elizabeth voiced his concern.

"The faster we do this the better," John tossed another large rock behind him. "You should wait outside Elizabeth."

"I can help," she said stubbornly, digging her shovel into the soft dirt.

"Shhh…." Vaneer held up his hand. "Do you hear that?"

The rescue crew fell silent, straining to hear what Vaneer had.

A querulous wail faintly resounded in the tunnel.

"They're just on the other side," Ronon said as he vigorously swung his pick, chipping away at a particularly large rock.

"Careful," John warned. "We don't want to bring on another collapse."

"Oh My God!" Elizabeth plunged her shovel into the dirt. "I think I've got it." She whooped in triumph as her shovel thrust all the way through into empty air.

"Help us," wafted from the other side of the collapse.

"Help me!" Elizabeth cried excitedly.

Carefully the three of them began widening the edges of the hole.

"Hold on kids, we're coming," John called.

"Please hurry," a small voice warbled.

Slowly the hole expanded into a three foot crawlspace. A tiny face appeared on the other side.

"Which one are you?" John smiled at the child.

"Zander," the boy's tear stained face peered through the small chasm. "Dante's right behind me, but Risella's trapped. We can't get her out." New tears welled in the small boy's eyes.

"It's okay," John said encouragingly. "We'll get her. But first, you need to climb through this hole. Think you can do that? Tell your friend Dante he comes right behind you. We'll take care of Risella."

Zander turned around. They heard him tell his companion to follow him through. Then the child climbed out, practically throwing himself into John's waiting arms.

"Teyla, take him," John ordered.

He turned back to the hole as a dust-covered Dante climbed out right after.

"Vaneer," John handed the boy to the village leader. "Take them both to Carson, get them checked out. I'll climb in and get Risella. As soon as I hand her to you, Elizabeth, get her out of here and to Carson."

"Be careful John," Teyla called as she hefted the small child in her arms and followed Vaneer out of the tunnel.

John pushed his way through the small hole, his shoulders hitting the edges, and sticking. He struggled to move forward, scraping his shoulder against the rocky edges of the hole. He felt something push against his feet and realized it was Ronon, shoving his body through the too small space.

"Easy big guy," John gasped. But then he was through, toppling to the sandy floor of the cave.

As John righted himself, he glanced around the cave to catch his bearings. Wireless torches threw dim light over the cavern. He recognized the chamber as one of the many rest areas scattered throughout the cave system. The place was a wreck. The tables and chairs designed to make a stay in the caves more comfortable were now simply pieces of debris. A choking sob drew his attention to the far corner.

"Risella," he called softly. "Can you move?"

"My leg," the little girl whimpered. "It's stuck."

John moved to the girl's side, sucking in a breath when he finally got a look at her. One of the beams the Secorans had used to shore up the cave walls had come down right on top of the tow-headed child. She was pinned. He glanced around the cave, hoping to find something he could use to lever the beam off the girl.

"Hang in there, Risella," John said encouragingly. "I'm gonna get you out of there. Anything else hurt besides your leg?"

"My stomach," Risella's eyes grew teary. "I'm scared."

"I know you are sweetheart," John knelt next to the girl. "I'm just going to look at your stomach, okay?" He gently moved her shirt up. He clenched his jaw, struggling not to let his dismay show on his face lest it terrify the girl even more. She had a large deep bruise across her midsection. She would need to be moved from under the beam with as little jostling as possible. He patted her hand. "It's going to be okay. Just give me a second."

John moved back to the opening in the collapsed tunnel. He saw Ronon's and Elizabeth's concerned faces on the other side. "I'm gonna need some help. She's pinned down pretty good, and she might be bleeding internally. Someone needs to pull her out from under the beam while I lift it up."

"I'll do it," Elizabeth put her hands on either side of the opening.

"Not a chance," John growled.

"Ronon's too big," Elizabeth said calmly. "You barely made it through yourself and we don't have time to wait for you and Ronon to make the hole bigger."

"Fine," John said reluctantly. He moved through the cavern, trying to find something to pry the beam up. He'd just settled on a leg of one of the destroyed tables when Elizabeth clambered through the small hole. She brushed the dirt from her clothing and moved quickly to the trapped girl's side.

"Risella," she said soothingly. "Just hang in there a little longer." She glanced up at John. "You ready?"

John nodded, setting the table leg underneath the beam. Elizabeth gripped the girl under her shoulders. John pressed down on the table leg, straining to lift up the beam still wedged deeply in the walls of the cave. Slowly it lifted and Elizabeth pulled Risella free.

John swiftly lifted the girl into his arms. She sniffled, her cheeks damp with tears.

"Ronon," John called. "Take her." Carefully, he fed Risella through the hole, passing her off to Ronon. "Elizabeth and I are coming out. Don't wait for us. Get her to Carson."

"Be careful Sheppard," Ronon said, fixing John with a stare. He held the tiny girl as one would hold a baby, and she curled against his chest.

"Get her out of here," John turned to Elizabeth. "You first."

Elizabeth was just about to comply when a deep rumbling signaled the beginning of an aftershock. The cavern began to shake.

"Shit," John yelled. "Get back. It's coming down."

John pushed Elizabeth in front of him, deeper into the tunnel as the cave collapsed.

_Present_

Elizabeth gently rubbed circles on John's back. She watched his chest slowly rise and fall; counting the number of breaths the way Carson had taught her. Fifteen seconds and then multiply by four. His breaths were fast and shallow, and if she'd done it right his respirations were 30. Above normal. His lungs were straining to feed much needed oxygen to his body.

It felt strange holding John as she was. No, she corrected herself. It wasn't that she was holding him; it was that he wasn't resisting. Every time she'd ever hugged him, he'd barely been able to keep himself from pulling away. Awkward seconds would pass as if he didn't know what to do with his own arms until finally he'd give in to the show of affection and roughly pat her on the back until she let him go.

"So, John," she said softly. "What happened when you were twelve?"

John shifted slightly in her arms. "Did I ever tell you I had a sister?"

"No," Elizabeth said, surprised. There was no mention of a sister in his personnel file. His father was listed as his emergency contact, but Elizabeth suspected they hadn't spoken in years.

"Her name was Cora." John's voice was breathy, and he spoke in brief spurts.

_Was_. Elizabeth thought to herself, her heart catching in her chest.

"Blue eyes, blond hair, cute as a bug in June," John said affectionately. "I was four years older than her and half the time she annoyed the crap out of me and the other half I loved her like crazy."

John paused, as if gathering strength to continue. He let his head fall against Elizabeth's shoulder. He closed his eyes. Images of Cora filled his mind's eye. In her favorite white dress, blue ribbons in her hair; proudly seated atop Thunder, her little black pony; running carefree across the fields of his family's estate, hair streaming in the wind.

"John?" Elizabeth touched his arm. "Stay with me."

John opened his eyes with a start, blinking in confusion. He could have sworn he was no longer trapped in the dank little cavern. There'd been sunlight and blue skies. The feel of fresh air across his face. He'd been home. And Cora was there.

"I was twelve," John continued shakily. "And I was a boy, so I had a lot more freedom than Cora. After school I'd go hang out at my friend's houses. Cora was supposed to ride the bus home. But she always wanted to come hang out with me."

"Big brothers never want little sisters hanging out at their friends' houses with them," Elizabeth chuckled.

"No," John sighed. "But she was a stubborn little thing…"

"Hmmm," Elizabeth rubbed John's shoulder. "Now who does that remind me of?"

John's voice was dreamlike, continuing the story as if Elizabeth had not interrupted him. "Then one day, after school, she didn't come home."

"John," Elizabeth breathed, shocked.

"Mom… Dad, they freaked. We found out Cora had never even gotten on the bus that day. She'd decided to walk to my friend Jimmy's house. That's where I was. But she never made it."

"Oh, John," Elizabeth sighed sadly.

"She was missing for months. Mom stopped getting out of bed. Dad became even more of a control freak. And my brother David threw himself into school. None of us dealt with it very well."

"Did they ever find her?" Elizabeth asked hesitantly.

"A year later, they caught this guy attempting to kidnap a little girl about Cora's age. They found all kinds of things at his house, including a blue ribbon Cora always wore in her hair. He killed four other girls. He raped them, and he strangled them, and then he buried them in the woods."

Tears welled in Elizabeth's eyes. How many times had he been willing to sacrifice himself to save Atlantis, to save Earth? So many people, including her, owed John their lives. But he hadn't been able to save his little sister. Her loss had been completely out of his control.

"In exchange for avoiding the death penalty, he told them where he'd buried Cora. And we finally had her funeral nearly a year to the day that she'd disappeared." John took several shallow breaths.

"I'm surprised you didn't become a cop," Elizabeth said, forcing back her tears.

"I thought about it," John admitted. "But the first time I took a plane up; it wasn't a matter of choice. I knew the cockpit was where I belonged."

John coughed, deep wracking coughs that left him shuddering in Elizabeth's arms. His hand flew to his mouth in a vain attempt to make the coughing stop. It came away red.

"Elizabeth," he gasped.

"John!" she cried. His body went limp, and she struggled under his weight. Wriggling out from underneath him, she gently lowered him to the pallet and placed a shaky finger on his neck.

His pulse throbbed erratically. She tapped his cheek. His hazel eyes remained closed. "John," she yelled. She rubbed his sternum with her knuckle. "John," she moaned softly. "Open your eyes, please." But her pleas went unheeded.

She watched his chest rise then fall. _Three. Four_ "That's one. Come on, John, breathe." _Five. Six._ "Breathe, John. Don't give up." _Seven. Eight._ She placed her hand over his chest. Felt him inhale. "Come on." _Nine. Ten._ Exhale. _Eleven. Twelve._

"Please John," she whispered. "Just breathe."

Elizabeth gripped John's hand. His respirations had fallen to eight. He couldn't hold on much longer. She lifted John's hand to her face, placed his palm against her cheek and finally gave in to her tears.

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much for continuing to read and review! It really does mean so much to me. I love hearing what you all think!

And I need to give a huge thank you to RinkRat for taking the time to beta this for me—you did an awesome job. Any remaining mistakes are solely my own.

And a disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. Apologies to anyone who is…

Chapter 3

_Present_

_Elizabeth lazily stretched her legs, turning her face up to the bright blue of the sky. She closed her eyes, basking in the warmth of the sun. The murmur of the surf soothingly filled her ears. Elizabeth dug one pointed toe into the hot sparkling white sand and sighed. She couldn't remember a more perfect day._

_Laughter caught her attention. She glanced towards the water. A tall boy and a small girl were playing chicken with the surf, the little girl chasing after the waves as they retreated back into the ocean. Her long blonde hair flew out behind her; her feet left dimples in the wet sand. As the waves regrouped, changed direction and rushed back towards the shore, the girl ran squealing away, into the arms of the boy. As the churning water coursed around them, he lifted the still squealing girl off her feet, out of the path of the wave. He was a tall boy, and as the water crashed around his sturdy legs, the girl clung to him, her arms wrapped around his neck. But when the wave once again retreated, the child flung herself out of the protective arms of the boy and raced once more back towards the sea._

_They were beautiful children, Elizabeth decided. She smiled as the girl turned tail, running once more from a chasing wave. "Johnny!" she screamed. "Pick me up, up, up!" She hurled herself into his arms. Screams turned to peals of laughter as he lifted her up and then twirled her around. He carried her out of the surf, dropping her to the ground._

"_Do it again, Johnny, do it again!" she cried, throwing herself at him._

"_It's time to go Beanie," Johnny began to walk up the beach._

"_Just one more time, Johnny, please," the child pleaded. _

_Johnny stopped. "Okay, just once more and then we have to go all right?"_

_The girl nodded eagerly._

"_Once more, and then we go," he said again, holding his hands out to her._

_The girl snagged his hands. "Okay, Johnny."_

_Johnny firmly took the child's hands in his, then began spinning wildly around in a circle. The girl's body lifted several feet off the ground. She screamed in delight._

"_I'm flying, Johnny! I'm flying!" _

"_Yes you are CoraBell," Johnny laughed. _

_The two children fell in a heap in the hot sand, a jumble of arms and legs. _

"_You like that, do you?" Johnny ruffled the girl's blond hair._

"_It's the best thing in the world, Johnny." Cora crowed. "And you're the best brother. I love you." She launched herself against him, burying her face in his neck._

"_I love you, too Cora," Johnny smiled affectionately. "But it's still time to go." He stood, lifted Cora off the ground and placed her on her feet._

"_Can we come back tomorrow?" Cora asked eagerly as she followed her brother up the beach._

"_Maybe," he broke into a jog. "Race you!"_

_The two children ran up the beach, and Elizabeth noted that despite Johnny's far longer legs, he never gained more than a foot or two on his much smaller sister. _

"Elizabeth"

_Elizabeth sat up. The two children were tiny etchings against the sky far up the beach. She was alone. Alone. The sun winked out. She shivered in the sudden cold._

"Elizabeth, wake up!"

_The beach had disappeared. Everything had been consumed by darkness, a deep and suffocating darkness and now she remembered. She remembered John was dying. No please. _

"Come on, Elizabeth, wake up."

_No. Make the beach and the waves and the sand and shore and the boy and the girl. Make them come back. But John was dying. And Cora was dead. No. They were playing in the sand. Safe and warm under a clear blue sky. Racing free up the beach. Cora was dead. John was dead. No no no no. _

Elizabeth moaned. "No."

"Elizabeth, you must wake up."

"Teyla?" Elizabeth moaned again.

"Yes. Please Elizabeth; you must open your eyes."

"John?" Elizabeth came to her senses with a start. She pushed herself forward in a panic, barely cognizant of the soft mattress underneath her and the bright light of the room. What's going on?" she asked disoriented. She looked at Rodney and Teyla with confusion. "Are you real? Is this a dream?"

"You are not dreaming Elizabeth," Teyla stroked Elizabeth's arm soothingly. "You're safe now, in the hospital, back at the village."

"John!" she gasped, looking wildly around her. "Where's John?" She stared into the grave faces of Teyla and Rodney and her eyes filled with tears. "John's dead, isn't he?"

_Earlier_

"We must get them out of there now!" Teyla stared in frustration at the life signs detector in Carson's hand.

"They're working on it luv," Carson touched Teyla's arm sympathetically. He glanced over to the jumper where Rodney was huddled with Lt. Serena Thoms, a combat engineer. Three hours ago, two jumpers had arrived from Atlantis. One jumper held a medical team and supplies, the other held Rodney, Lt. Thoms and a team of Marines.

Realizing he could reach Secora nine hours ahead of the Daedalus by gating to the nearest Stargate to Secora and taking jumpers the rest of the way, Rodney had organized the small rescue party figuring some help was better than no help at all. As soon as the village had come into view, it was obvious it wasn't a simple gate failure that had prevented his teammates from returning to Atlantis. When Teyla told Rodney that Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir had been trapped in the caves, Rodney had taken a jumper and Lt. Thoms to the top of the cliffs.

It had taken Rodney all of thirty minutes to re-program the HUD on the jumper to create a 3-D image of the collapsed cave system and five minutes after that to increase the potency of the life signs detector. One life sign blipped strongly. The other was in obvious distress.

As soon as Carson could extricate himself from helping treat the injured from the village, he'd grabbed medical supplies and joined Teyla and Ronon on the cliffs above the caves. Ronon wandered the bluffs, though never straying too far. Teyla remained with Carson, watching the signs of life on the detector and hoping that Rodney and Lt. Thoms soon found a way to get to their friends.

The first aftershock had been catastrophic to the cave system. Essentially the mountain had fallen on top of John and Elizabeth, and only specialized machinery was going to get them out. None of which they had. Rodney and Thoms were attempting to find the best place to burrow a tunnel into the cavern where John and Elizabeth were trapped, but the main sticking point was how to create that tunnel without collapsing what was left of the caves.

"Are you an idiot?!" Rodney's sharp voice sailed from the jumper. "We can't use a drone; it'll bring the entire mountain down on top of them. You're seriously the best combat engineer on Atlantis? Really? Did you compete against monkeys for the job?"

Carson winced when he heard something crash from inside the jumper and hoped Thoms could at least wait to kill Rodney until after they'd rescued John and Elizabeth. He attempted a half smile at Thoms as she stepped out of the jumper, her hands clenched into fists and her eyes sparking fire. She shook her head slightly at Carson, took a deep breath, steadied her shoulders, then turned and strode back into the jumper.

"What I'm saying, Rodney," Carson heard Thoms bite out, "is that we don't have a drill, and Dr. Beckett believes we don't have time to wait for the Daedalus to get here and beam them out. The only thing we have to create a big hole in the rock between us and them is a drone."

Carson poked his head into the jumper. He'd already had to referee the two of them twice before.

Thoms stabbed her finger at the 3D image. "If we punch through _here_ with a drone, it'll knock out all this rock, and then we can dig our way through _here_ to open up a subsidiary tunnel."

Rodney stared at her, wide eyed, his brain spinning furiously through the possibilities of Thom's suggestion. He began to wildly snap his fingers.

"Yes, yes, yes," Rodney turned to the jumper's console.

Thoms smirked.

Rodney's fingers flew over the data pad attached to the console. He spared a glance at Thoms. "No, you're still an idiot. Your idea would have killed them both."

"And your idea would be?" Thoms asked tightly as her fingers clenched and her hands drifted towards Rodney's throat.

Carson moved himself between Rodney and Thoms. "Am I to take it that we finally have a plan to get Col. Sheppard and Dr. Weir out of there?"

Rodney's fingers flew over the data pad, his lips pursed in concentration.

"Rodney?" Carson asked impatiently. When Rodney continued to ignore him, Carson firmly placed his hand on Rodney's arm. "Rodney!"

"Oh, yes," Rodney glanced quickly at his friend before turning back to the console. "We're going to bring the mountain down on top of them."

"What?!" Carson exclaimed. He stared worriedly at Thoms, whose face had turned a deep shade of red, verging on purple. "Rodney!" Carson suddenly felt the urge to join Thoms in strangling the preoccupied genius. "How is that a plan?!"

Dawning realization widened Serena Thoms' green eyes. "The shields!"

Rodney suffered Thoms with a piercing stare. "Maybe you're not a complete idiot after all." He turned his attention back to the data pad.

Carson sent Thoms a pleading look. She hurried to explain. "We're here," she pointed to a spot on the HUD. "There's twenty feet of solid rock between us and Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Weir, here. We're going to use a drone to punch a hole in the rock that stands between us and them. It'll make a crater big enough for us to drop the jumper down."

"That'll cause the cave to collapse," Carson carefully studied the graphic, "which means Rodney has to extend the shields around the sides of the crater to prevent that from happening until after we extract the Colonel and Dr. Weir."

"Exactly," Thoms nodded vigorously. "Get your team over here. It won't be long now."

Carson hurried from the jumper, motioning for Teyla, Ronon and the team of Marines to join him.

"Done," Rodney called, looking up from the console with a self satisfied smile. His smile faltered and looked seriously at his best friend. "If this works, we won't have much time before the shields start to fail."

"Then we scoop and run," Carson nodded. He grabbed the backboard from where it was stowed. He still didn't know whether it was John or Elizabeth who was seriously injured, but his assessment of their condition would have to wait until he got them back into the jumper.

"Ready?" Rodney asked with uncharacteristic uncertainty, his hands moving to the jumper's controls.

"Do it Rodney," Carson nodded, giving his friend a steadying glance.

"Here goes**.**" Rodney took a deep breath. "Fire in the hole."

The drone explosively burrowed through the ground. To Carson's eyes, it looked like the drone was vaporizing solid rock, disintegrating a thirty foot wide chunk of mountain. As the drone punched through the earth, the shield flared to life, creating a wall that held up the insides of the mountain, preventing the dirt and rock from collapsing down into the cavern below. As if flying down an elevator shaft, the jumper descended into the cave. Carson held his breath until the jumper finally hit solid ground.

"Let's go," Teyla commanded.

She opened the hatch and the rescue team spilled into the cavern.

Carson sucked in a breath. The silvery web of the force field was the only thing holding off the ton of earth threatening to bury them. Willing himself to move, he bounded out of the jumper, his hands tightly gripping the backboard.

"Doc!" Ronon roared. "Get over here." He crouched next to two still figures on the ground.

Carson ran towards his friends, clinical detachment clicking in to place. John and Elizabeth lay side by side, Elizabeth clutching one of John's hands. Carson knelt next to them. He now knew the strong life signs he'd observed during his long vigil on the surface were Elizabeth's. She was unconscious, but not in immediate danger. Her color was good, her breathing steady. John was a different matter. His skin was waxen, his chest too still.

Ronon's fingers were on John's neck. "He has a very faint pulse, but I don't think he's breathing."

Carson slid the backboard next to John. "You!" he barked at a Marine. "Get Dr. Weir into the jumper."

The Marine bent down, extricating Elizabeth's hand from John's. He easily lifted her up into his arms and sped towards the jumper.

"Shields are down to forty percent," Rodney screamed from the jumper.

"Ronon, Teyla, help me**.**" Carson carefully slipped his hands around the sides of John's head. "Roll him over, Ronon…gently….Teyla, the backboard."

Quickly Teyla slid the backboard underneath John.

"Okay, roll him back now." Pulling gauze and tape out of his jacket pocket, Carson stabilized John's head to the board.

"Twenty percent," Rodney yelled.

"Let's go," Carson commanded.

Immediately, Ronon and Teyla lifted John, hurrying him into the jumper, Carson quick on their heels.

"Okay Rodney, we're in," Carson closed the hatch door, snagged several medical bags and hurried to his patient's side.

The jumper lurched forward, barreling back to the surface. Teyla grabbed at the supply webbing for support. "Carson?" she asked hesitantly.

"He's not breathing," Carson looped his stethoscope around his neck. Rifling through another bag, he pulled out an endotracheal tube and a ventilating bag. "Ronon, I need you to start chest compressions."

Smoothly, Carson tilted John's head back, efficiently sliding the tube down John's throat, securing it in place with tape. "Teyla, I need your help, lass," he motioned her to join him on the floor of the jumper. "Squeeze like this," he demonstrated, "every few seconds."

Teyla nodded, positioning her hands on the ventilating bag.

Carson placed his stethoscope on John's chest, nodding to himself. "Good work, luv, keep it up."

"I can help Sir, I'm a trained medic," one of the Marines bent down.

"What's your name?" Carson asked as he reached under one of the benches and snagged the portable heart monitor.

"Riley, Sir," the Marine answered.

"Riley, I.V. kit and saline solution are in that bag," Carson said. "Get an I.V. started and then get me vitals."

"Yes Sir," Riley complied.

Carson cut open John's shirt and attached the heart monitor leads tohis chest. The machine flared to life with a shrill whine.

"Keep up compressions Ronon," Carson directed as he watched the faltering attempts of John's heart to make a steady beat on the heart monitor. "Come on John," Carson encouraged, one hand on John's shoulder. "Keep fighting."

"Blood pressure's sixty palp," Riley called out.

Rummaging through another bag, Carson pulled out a vial of medication, loaded it into a syringe and ejected it into John's I.V. port.

"Don't give up John," Carson murmured, intently watching the heart monitor.

"Blood pressure's coming up," Riley reported. "Eighty over sixty."

The heart monitor steadied into an even beat.

"Okay Ronon, you can stop compressions now," Carson rocked back on his heels. Gently he squeezed John's shoulder. "Good job, son."

"Doc?" Ronon leaned forward. "He's waking up."

John blinked in confusion. He tried to move his head. Pain and panic flared in his hazel eyes. His lips moved soundlessly around the tube in his mouth.

"Take it easy, son," Carson said soothingly, gripping John's hand. "Don't try to move. You're on a ventilator to help you breathe."

The panic in John's eyes faded.

"John?" Carson tried to catch John's gaze.

But John's eyes had lost focus, and he seemed to stare unseeing at something beyond Carson's shoulder.

"Stay with me, lad." Carson squeezed John's had urgently. "Don't let go."

The steady beat of John's heart on the monitor began to falter. John's eyelids fluttered closed just as the heart monitor emitted a shrill wail.

"Shit!" Carson swore. "He's crashing!"

Tbc…


	4. Chapter 4

As always thank you for reading and a special thank you to those who've left reviews. I do appreciate it.

Once again, thank you to the awesome RinkRat for taking the time out of her busy schedule to beta this!!

Disclaimer: Not a medical professional….my apologies for any inaccuracies.

Chapter Four

Elizabeth sat on a chair next to John's gurney. She picked at the band aid in the crook of her arm. Diagnosing dehydration and exhaustion, Carson had insisted she receive a bolus of fluids and had ordered bed rest. Once Carson had been satisfied she was recovering nicely, he'd compromised on the bed and let Elizabeth sit in a chair at John's side.

Carson himself was slumped in a chair on the other side of John's bed, his head tilted to the side. He was snoring softly, but his body remained tight with tension as if even in sleep he was ready to leap to his feet at the slightest sign of alarm.

Elizabeth exchanged a glance with Ronon. The big man sat at the head of John's bed; one elbow rested on the thin mattress of the gurney, his other hand steadily squeezed the ventilation bag every few seconds. She didn't know how he wasn't exhausted by now, how his hand hadn't cramped up. He'd been breathing for John for a little over three hours. A mechanical ventilator had not been with the emergency supplies brought by the rescue jumpers, so it was up to them. Thus far, Ronon hadn't let anyone replace him.

The Daedalus was due to arrive within the hour, which meant it had been twenty nine hours since she and John had been trapped in the caves and three hours since John had nearly died.

Teyla had held Elizabeth's hand tightly when she'd explained that John had flat lined in the jumper and that Carson had had to shock John's heart several times before it started beating again. Gently, Carson had detailed the seriousness of John's injuries: Pulmonary Edema from badly bruised lungs, which was why John was on a ventilator and would be on one until his lungs healed enough for him to breathe on his own; badly bruised kidneys that were causing internal bleeding and for which he would most likely need surgery, surgery Carson would prefer to do on Atlantis so he could utilize Atlantis' scanners. Not to mention the less serious injuries: the deep bruise on his shoulder which would cause him some pain but which would heal and the mild concussion from the surfing accident, which seemed a lifetime ago to Elizabeth.

Now, several transfusions later, John had stabilized. His blood pressure had come back up, his pulse had grown stronger, and his heart finally beat in a steady unbroken rhythm. Thanks to the breathing tube, John was finally getting enough oxygen circulating through his body. Critical but stable, that's what Carson had said.

Because Carson wanted John back on Atlantis as quickly as possible, Rodney had taken a jumper to the gate to check on the state of the DHD and to locate the gate itself. Carson had given Rodney and the Daedalus crew thirty minutes to figure out if the gate could be salvaged. If not, then John would be beamed to the Daedalus infirmary and Carson would operate on their way back to Atlantis.

Recognizing Teyla's light footsteps behind her, Elizabeth turned, offering the other woman a wan smile.

"How is the Colonel?" Teyla asked, stepping to John's bedside.

"The same," Elizabeth said quietly. "Any word on the gate?"

"Rodney has located it with the jumper. He seems to think it's intact, but we won't know for sure until the Daedalus can beam it back to the surface." Teyla nodded at Ronon. "I can take over. You should rest."

"I'm fine," the big man grunted.

"And how are you, Elizabeth?" Teyla turned her concerned eyes to her friend.

"I'm fine," Elizabeth nodded, even though she wouldn't be fine until she knew for sure that John was going to be okay; until he could breathe on his own, until he stopped bleeding inside, until he opened his eyes and talked to her.

As if reading her thoughts, Teyla placed her hand over Elizabeth's comfortingly. "Colonel Sheppard is a survivor, Elizabeth. He will not stop fighting."

Elizabeth blinked back tears. She gently squeezed John's fingers, careful to avoid the I.V. taped to the back of his hand. Suddenly she laughed, shaking her head. "He'd hate this, you know. Me sitting here holding his hand like this. It's probably a good thing he's unconscious."

"John is not exactly a…" Teyla searched for the right word.

"Hugger?" Elizabeth supplied with a grin.

"Yes," Teyla smiled warmly.

"Teyla!" Elizabeth leaned forward urgently. "I think he just moved his hand."

John's fingers twitched inside Elizabeth's grip.

"John?" Teyla asked, moving to the other side of the bed. She touched Carson lightly on the shoulder.

The doctor sat up with a jerk, immediately alert. His eyes turned to the monitors, studying them for signs of distress. Satisfied his patient was still doing well he glanced at Teyla.

"We think John might be awakening," Teyla answered the question in Carson's eyes. "He moved his hand."

Ronon peered closely at his friend, sitting up straight. He moved his unoccupied hand to John's shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Elizabeth cupped John's hand between both of hers, intently watching John's face.

"John?" Carson asked, moving to the head of the bed. He pulled his penlight from his pocket. Gently he peeled back John's eyelids and flashed the penlight back and forth. He was answered with a muffled groan.

"Take it easy son," Carson met John's gaze and held it as the beat of the heart monitor quickened. He slid his fingers around John's wrist, feeling for his pulse. "You have a breathing tube because your lungs are badly bruised; they need time to heal. Do you understand? Blink once for yes."

John's eyes closed once and then opened, once again fixing on Carson.

"Good lad," Carson smiled. "I'm going to ask you some questions. Blink once for yes, twice for no. Understand?"

_Blink._

"Is your name Ronon Dex?" Carson asked.

Around the breathing tube, a smile quirked on John's lips. _Blink Blink._

"Is your name Lt. Colonel John Sheppard?"

_Blink_.

"Do you know this woman?" Carson pointed to Elizabeth.

John turned his head. His hazel eyes caught Elizabeth's, holding them for a long moment. He shook his head slightly when tears began to well in her eyes. He turned back to Carson. _Blink_.

Suddenly John gagged. A shudder passed over his body. Panic flared in John's eyes as an attempt to suck in a lungful of air was thwarted by the tube in his throat. He choked painfully, his eyes glistening. His fingers tightened on Elizabeth's hand, as if he were hanging on for dear life.

"Don't fight the tube, John. I know it's uncomfortable." Carson leaned over the bed. When John tried to turn his face away, Carson gently moved John's head back to face him. "Listen to me, son. Let Ronon do the work for you. Are you in any pain?"

Resignation and helplessness passed through John's eyes. _Blink_.

Carson set his hand firmly on John's chest. "I'm going to give you something for the pain. But before I do, I need you to listen to me. Okay? You're going to be fine, Colonel Sheppard. We'll get you back to Atlantis and fix you up. Your lungs will heal, and the next time you wake up, the breathing tube will be gone." Carson held John's eyes in a steady gaze. "Do you trust me?"

_Blink_.

Pulling medication from a nearby cart, Carson filled a syringe.

John turned his eyes back to Elizabeth. The effect of the medication Carson ejected into John's I.V. was nearly immediate. John blearily blinked his eyes. For a moment, Carson thought he was going to fight the medication, but within seconds John had given in to it. His fingers relaxed in Elizabeth's hand as his eyes drifted shut.

Rodney suddenly burst into the room. "The Daedalus is here. They've returned the gate to the surface."

"Does it work?" Ronon asked fiercely.

"Yes," Rodney said in disbelief. "Cheapskates with gate parts the Ancients were not."

"Let's go, people," Carson ordered, bustling into action. "Time to get Colonel Sheppard home."

**********

_He found her in the back of the barn. She was sitting on the straw, hugging her knees to her chest. Her blonde hair hung down her back, and her small shoulders shook as she cried._

_He sat down next to her. He took her hand when he saw what she had found. She turned to him then, tears streaming down her cheeks._

"_She didn't come up to the porch to eat this morning," the little girl hiccupped. "So I came looking for her."_

_He noticed then, the saucer of food. It had half spilled onto the barn floor._

"_I know you loved her, Cora," he said softly, glancing at the little cat curled up in the corner. "I'm sorry."_

"_I don't understand," Cora sobbed. "Why did she have to die?"_

_John sighed. "I don't know, CoraBell." He pulled the tearful seven-year old into his lap. "It's just the way things are, I guess." At eleven, he felt ill-equipped to explain the concept of death to his little sister._

"_I hate the way things are," she cried vehemently. "I hate it."_

_Gently John rubbed his sister's back, offering comfort the only way he could._

"_Johnny," Cora threw her arms around her brother. Her clear blue eyes caught his darker hazel ones. "Don't ever die. Promise you won't ever die, Johnny."_

"_I don't plan on dying for a long time, Cora," he said softly._

_The little girl sniffled, seemingly satisfied with his answer. "Will you help me bury her?" she asked, her voice small._

"_Sure," John squeezed Cora's little hand. He slipped his jacket off, gently placing the cat in it and picking her up. _

_Cora sat on the ground while John dug the small grave. She cried a little more when he carefully placed the cat inside and began to cover her with dirt. When he'd tamped the last bit of dirt down with the shovel, he sat next to Cora and put his arms around her shoulders. She nestled her cheek against his neck. Together they sat until Cora's tears finally stopped._

"_You want to go for a ride with me, CoraBell?" John asked._

"_Can we take Isabelle?" Cora asked, referring to John's sleek thoroughbred mare._

"_Sure," John said, getting up. He offered Cora his hand and pulled her to her feet._

"_Why do you like to ride so much?" Cora turned her face up to her brother. _

_John shrugged. "I dunno. I guess because it feels a little bit like flying."_

_Cora's fingers tightened around John's. "I love you, Johnny."_

"_I love you too, Cora."_

"John."

_John looked down. He could swear he still felt someone holding his hand, but Cora was gone. He stood alone in the grassy meadow where he used to ride Isabelle. The sun was bright, so bright it hurt._

"John."

_The sun winked out, leaving darkness. He began to realize he hurt. More than he'd ever thought possible. His stomach. His back. His chest. His shoulder. Had Isabelle thrown him? Was that why it was so dark and he hurt so damn bad? No. That wasn't right. _

"John, wake up. Please." A voice whispered in his ear.

_Other tendrils of thought entered his mind. Isabelle, the meadow, home, Cora. They all belonged to another lifetime. He hadn't ridden Isabelle in years. And Cora…_

"Cora?" he moaned. Pain flared in his throat. He licked his lips.

"No, John." She sounded sad. He felt fingers squeeze his hand.

"You're home. You're on Atlantis. Just open your eyes."

"Elizabeth," he whispered. He forced his eyes open, fuzzily he saw Elizabeth staring at him with concern. He winced. Too bright. He squeezed his eyes shut.

"Decided to finally join us, did you lad?"

"Carson," John turned towards the direction of the Scottish brogue.

"Can you open your eyes for me, son?"

"Hurts." John grimaced.

"Aye, I know," Carson said sympathetically, pulling a stool to John's bedside. "Elizabeth, can you give us a few minutes?" He pulled his stethoscope from his lab coat pocket.

"Of course," Elizabeth reluctantly let go of John's hand. "I'll see you later, John."

John watched her until she disappeared behind the privacy curtain. He turned his eyes to his doctor. "It feels like it was pretty bad," he said quietly.

"It was touch and go for a while there," Carson admitted seriously. "But I think you're out of the woods, so to speak."

John spared a moment to glance around his bedside. He could feel the blood pressure cuff on his upper bicep. He counted two separate I.V.'s, one on the top of each hand. Pulse ox monitor on his finger, heart monitor, nasal cannula to help him breathe and....he winced; a catheter.

Carson placed the bell of his stethoscope on John's chest. "Nice deep breath, Colonel."

John sucked in air through the nasal cannula.

"Again," Carson murmured, moving the bell to the other side of John's chest. After listening for a moment, he nodded, then slid the instrument around John's upper back. He helped his patient to lean forward a bit and by the time Carson had finished listening to John's lungs, John was panting, beads of sweat popping out on his forehead.

"Your lungs are healing quite nicely," Carson looped the stethoscope around his neck.

"And my back?" John nearly gasped, the pain spiking from the movement.

"That would be your kidneys," Carson nodded. "I had to operate to control the bleeding. But they, too, are beginning to heal." Carson bent down to look at the urine bag. It was still pinkish, but the blood being passed through John's urine was beginning to subside.

"Elizabeth?" John asked, attempting to distract his mind from the pain. "She seems okay."

"Aye," Carson confirmed. "Nary a scratch on her. She was a little dehydrated and was suffering from exhaustion when we pulled you out of there, but she's already recovered."

"That's good." John breathed deeply, thankful for the oxygen tube underneath his nose. "That's good."

"How's your pain John?" Carson set his hand gently on John's good shoulder.

"Hurts like a son of a bitch," John grunted.

"It's almost time for your pain meds," Carson assured him.

"How did you get us out of there?" John asked.

"Rodney and Lt. Serena Thoms blasted a hole above the cavern you were trapped in big enough for the jumper. Then we flew down and brought you out."

"I don't remember," John took another breath. He remembered darkness and pain. He remembered Elizabeth's voice. He remembered how difficult it had gotten to breathe and how Elizabeth had held him.

"I wouldn't think you would son," Carson said gravely. "You were in a bad way."

"Have I been out this whole time?" John painfully cleared his throat.

The privacy curtain around John's bed was pulled aside, and Marie stepped into John's cubicle with a cup of ice and medication on a tray. She set it on a table by John's bed.

"Ah, thank you Marie," Carson said, picking up the cup of ice.

"Good to see you awake, Colonel," Marie smiled.

"Good to be awake, I think," John murmured.

Marie stepped back out, closing the curtain behind her.

Carson fed John an ice chip. "You came around for a short time right before we brought you back to Atlantis, but I'm not surprised you don't remember it. You've been on a ventilator for the last four days, so your throat will be sore for a bit."

John gratefully sucked on the sliver of ice. "How long until I can get out of here?"

Carson shook his head, giving John a mock glare. "You were critically injured Colonel Sheppard, and you're still in serious condition. You won't be going anywhere anytime soon."

"What happened to the kids? The little girl Elizabeth and I rescued…Risella?" John asked.

"All fine. Risella did have some internal bleeding, but we were able to operate and I expect she'll recover quite nicely."

"And Secora?" John shifted on the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position.

"They'll rebuild," Carson said simply. "Casualties were minimal, all things considered."

Carson fitted the tip of the needle into the medication bottle. "That's enough for now, Colonel. You need to rest." Efficiently Carson ejected the contents into one of John's I.V. ports.

John felt a warmth enter the vein in his hand. The pain began to melt away and he felt his eyes grow heavy. He blinked several times, trying to focus his eyes on Carson.

"Don't fight it, Colonel." Carson admonished his patiently gently.

"Just want to say…" John slurred his words. He felt himself begin to drift off. He forced his eyes open and tried to lift his hand to motion Carson over. He saw Carson lean forward over the bed. "Thank you."

"Rest Colonel," Carson said softly as John finally let sleep take him.

Carson pulled a chair closer to the bed and settled into it. He hadn't even realized he'd fallen asleep himself until Teyla lightly tapped his shoulder.

"I'll sit with him. You should get some rest Dr. Beckett." Teyla smiled warmly.

"I think that's the best idea I've heard all day," Carson agreed, stifling a yawn. Stiffly he pulled himself up. "I'll check in on him soon."

Teyla settled into the chair and studied her team leader's face. His skin was still pale, but there was color to it now. His face was peaceful in sleep. "We'll be fine." And for the first time since the earthquake on Secora, she believed it.

Tbc…


	5. Chapter 5

As ever, thank you for reading! Thank you so very much to those who left reviews!!

Special thanks as always to RinkRat for an awesome beta!!

Epilogue

John sat on the end of the pier, dangling his legs over the side. He lifted his face to the sky and breathed in the salty air. He thought he might never take fresh air and sunlight for granted again.

"I thought I might find you here." Elizabeth's voice held a smile. "Didn't Carson release you from the infirmary on the condition that you rest in your quarters?"

"You going to give me up?" John flashed Elizabeth a grin.

"To Carson? No." she admitted with a wry laugh. "Believe me, I understand the compulsion to feel the wind on your face."

John nodded as Elizabeth carefully lowered herself to the pier, letting her legs fall over the side. The breeze kicked up small whitecaps on the water, which sparkled under the strong Lantian sun.

"It's a beautiful day," Elizabeth commented.

"Yup," John winced, giving a slight cough.

"Are you okay?" Elizabeth asked anxiously. "Maybe we should get you back to your room…or the infirmary."

"I'm fine." John shook his head. He turned and caught her eyes. "Honestly, that's the truth. Carson said it would take some time for all the aches and pains to go away." He turned his gaze back to the water.

"Okay." Elizabeth bit her lip, surreptitiously sneaking a glance at him. To her, he still looked slightly pale; the spark hadn't yet fully returned to his eyes, and his movements remained slow and labored, a far cry from his usual graceful athleticism.

"You know, there's a beach on the other side of the mainland with some real nice breakers. We should go sometime. I can teach you how to surf." John cocked his head and grinned at Elizabeth.

"Me, on a surfboard?" Elizabeth shook her head, grinning back. "I don't think so."

"Oh come on, it'd be fun!" John cajoled.

"No way," Elizabeth vigorously shook her head.

John suddenly laughed. "You're scared of the water, aren't you?"

"I'm scared of drowning," Elizabeth corrected him.

"I'd never let you drown," John said, his voice wounded. John stared at the water for a moment. "I'd never let anything happen to you, if I could do anything to stop it," he said softly.

"I know," Elizabeth's hand itched to cover John's, but she willed it to remain by her side. "I haven't thanked you yet."

"For what?" John said gruffly.

"For saving my life," Elizabeth said quietly. "When the cave started to collapse you shielded me with your body, kept pushing me out of the way. I'd be dead right now if it wasn't for you."

"Then we're even." John took a long measured breath and then turned to glance at Elizabeth. "You kept me alive down there. I didn't think I was going to make it."

"I know," Elizabeth's voice was shaky.

"But you wouldn't let go." John's fingers twitched against the hard surface of the pier. His hand inched slightly closer to Elizabeth's, stopping just short of touching her.

"Do you remember much," Elizabeth asked hesitantly, "about when we were down there?"

John gazed back out over the water. Sparkles of sunlight danced across the silvery surface of the water. John winced against the brightness. He could lie. No one would question that he couldn't remember the details of his time trapped in that awful darkness; that he would remember that the sound of Elizabeth's voice was the only thing that kept him from slipping away but not the substance of their conversation. He inhaled slowly and let the breath out.

"You know what? Never mind," Elizabeth hurriedly retracted her question.

"I remember you pulled me out from under all that debris," John said quietly. "I remember it was cold and dark and every breath was like a fire in my chest. I remember you held me to make it easier for me to breathe." He paused. He closed his eyes and then he opened them again and looked at Elizabeth. "I remember telling you about my sister."

"You loved her very much," Elizabeth said sadly.

"I did," John smiled. "I loved being her big brother. I always complained about it, but secretly I liked it that she came to me with her problems instead of David or Dad." He sighed. "And when she needed me the most, I didn't even know she was in trouble."

"You couldn't have known," Elizabeth reminded him softly.

"I know," John nodded. "Not long after Cora's funeral, my father stripped Cora's bedroom. He threw everything away. My mother didn't come out of her room for three days after that. I was so angry, I didn't talk to him for a month. But after that, we just stopped talking about her. And I'm just as guilty. It felt like forgetting about her was easier than missing her."

"You didn't forget her," Elizabeth said firmly. "We carry the people we've lost in our hearts, forever, no matter what. She's still a part of you. And you know what? The men you lead look up to you like she looked up to you. She taught you how to live up to that."

"I guess I hadn't thought of it that way," John murmured.

"Can I say something John?" Elizabeth asked cautiously.

"Sure." He glanced at her curiously.

"I think your father must have been so angry. Cora was your sister, but he was her father. Ultimately it was his job to protect his little girl. I would imagine he didn't know what to do with that all that pain and anger, so he took it out on everything that reminded him of that failure: her things." Elizabeth's heart ached for John's family, for the wreckage that had been left behind in the wake of Cora's murder.

"Maybe," John said grudgingly. "He hasn't had much to say to me since I turned my back on his big plans for me and joined the Air Force instead."

Elizabeth sighed, wondering if John's father was more upset that John had chosen a career that would make every ring of his doorbell the possibility that someone was coming to tell him another child was dead. Looking at the stubborn look on John's face, she knew it was too early to broach the subject. That was a conversation that would have to wait for another day.

"_Colonel Sheppard."_ Carson's irritated voice sounded through the earpiece in John's ear.

"Carson." John answered, hoping the doctor was still at the infirmary and unaware that he had sneaked out of his room.

"_Guess where I am, and guess where you're not?"_

John winced. Elizabeth couldn't help a giggle. John had the distinct look of a boy who'd just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. She tapped her own earpiece. "Carson, why don't you join me and Colonel Sheppard for dinner? Then we can walk John back to his quarters together."

"_Well…I suppose the Colonel's check up can wait until after dinner. But Colonel, you really shouldn't be out and about yet, lad. I thought I'd made that perfectly clear when I released you from the infirmary."_

"You did, you made yourself perfectly clear," John grimaced. "And I promise to be a good little patient from now on."

Carson's hrmph of disbelief was clearly audible on the radio.

"Excellent!" Elizabeth smiled. She pulled herself up. "We'll see you in a few, Carson." She held her hand out to John. He slid his fingers through hers, allowing her to help him to his feet.

"Thanks Elizabeth," he said, dropping her hand when he'd steadied himself on his feet.

"Anytime." she smiled warmly.

The sun began to descend towards the horizon as John and Elizabeth set off at a slow walk back towards the looming towers of Atlantis.

Fin.


End file.
